Journal Entry for 30 June 2014

     I love my cat, but he thinks he is quite the prince. He has to be the fluffiest cat that I've ever owned and quite easily the laziest.cat I've ever had as a pet. I'm not sure I entirely understand his daily routine. I am occasionally awakened first thing in the morning to the most high pitched of meows that a cat of his size should not bellow...ever. It's confusing. He will not sleep on the bed unless there is a flattened sheet area about 6 times his body size for him to lay on. If the blanket is in the way, or the sheet is crumpled up, forget it, he won't even step on it. So it always startles me when he wakes me up and he's setting on the edge of the bed with barely any room, which he will not normally stand for. Once I'm awake he jumps into the floor and stares at the bedroom door. Mission accomplished I believe he is thinking, the "hooman" is awake. Now I can continue my kitty daily routine.
     The next part of his daily routine involves staring out the back patio window and then staring out the front dining room window, back and forth, until he spots a robin. His eyes grow double their size it seems when he spots a robin on the porch. What follows I still cannot understand how he performs it, but he lets loose a meow that sounds like there is a mini machine gun in his throat shooting meows at the birds through the windows. He does this until he passes out in an inverted position, paws every which direction of the compass. I tend to lose track of him by this time and begin my daily studies. To which I am normally thrown off guard again by the sound of the high pitched meow of his at my feet. When you ask him what he wants, he licks his lips. Snack time. If the box of kitty treats are not at my desk, he will lead you to them when you stand. Feeding him snacks though is about the only time he will sit in my lap though. He normally will not sit in anyone's lap and I think it has something to do with the same reason he won't step on a wrinkled blanket. Once snack time is over, it's time for him to walk away and pass out again.
     When bed time comes, it's a bit of a herding experience to get him into the bedroom. He knows what time it is, and it's always with a reluctant walk that he heads to the bedroom and under the bed or to the corner he seems to have claimed. Here he stays until the lights are off and I am in bed. Silently he walks to the door where he lets out one of those high pitched meows. I cannot say anything to the cat that deters him from meowing a few more times. It matters not the tone you take with him, it's as if he knows better and that surely no trouble will come to him. So it must be safe to let loose a few more meows. It is with relief that I relax when his last little mews die off and he finds a place to sleep finally. Until the morning when his routine repeats. What a goof of a cat, I love him though.

Journal Entry for 29 June 2014

     The power has just came back on. It's a strange eerie feeling when you drive through your town and reach the side of town where your house is located and the power if off for you and your neighbors. Very strange to me when it only affects half the town. I was concerned whether or not I would get my journal entry done in time. Here I go with 15 minutes til midnight.

     I suppose it's not unheard of that children are afraid of the dark, but it's still one more thing to worry about working around when the house has zero lighting and pre-teen children still freaking out. I learned something about myself in that moment. I need to work on my nurturing side. I did not foresee such an event as this taking place when earlier today I took part in a clean up session with the School of Metaphysics. In this session we often draw from a list of topics or aspects/attitudes that we should meditate on while we clean. Mine turned out to nurturing, which in that moment I was stumped as to what I needed to work on this for. The most prominent thought I had was that I needed to work on this for myself, because I was being hard on myself over a current situation and needed to allow myself space to experience it and learn from it without being harsh and judging the experience so brashly. I made peace with that understanding as I meditated on the thoughts and cleaned the school. Now after sitting down and processing the events upon my arrival home and my children acting all manners of scared-of-the-dark syndrome, I realized that my nurturing side could benefit greatly from a tune-up. Something to work on and hopefully the power will stay on long enough for me to submit this. Have a great night everyone.

Journal Entry for 28 June 2014

     Today was one of those days you look forward to during the week, preparing for, believing everything is in line for a smooth day. In hind sight it greatly a rough day. However, it was in each moment that I couldn't see past what I had to do next. It amazes me how my perception of events to be taken care can work such a case of anxiety and stress for my self.
     I awoke early to prepare a group meetup called Dream Catcher's, which meets at a coffee shop (normally in the afternoon, but this time it was after breakfast) and we discuss and share dreams with one another.  This was the easy part though it took me a pit stop at one coffee shop and grab a cup of coffee to finish waking myself up to take care of that which was needed before the meeting began. So with my larger than necessary cup of coffee in hand, I headed to the School of Metaphysics and sorted over my notes of possible dream topics, met up with some my co-coordinator and headed off to the meetup. One meetup session later with my head full of cool and interesting dreams which were shared, and I'm back out the door.
     Now this is where the day gets busy. Two things needed my attention during this time slot. One I was assisting in the gathering of donations for a fund raiser, rather the first step of that process, which is handing out letters and meeting business owners, etc. Which can become stressful and worrisome. Two, I was needed to attend a festival with my family and assist them in case they needed me to travel to and fro, get the vehicle, get one of those thing a ma bobs, be of service in short. So the pressure is on to perform enough communicating with businesses to feel that it made an impact for the fundraiser and the rush back one town over to be there for my family. In hind sight, it went smoothly. It's during the mix of things that it seems one is in a storm of things needing to be done. Metaphysical exercises were still on the table for needing to be done along with my physical routine. Half of each are still needing to be completed. My mind was still clouded when I sat to review class work for various classes and make sure I understood what I was reading correctly. I'm not truly certain I am ever correct, but a moment to enjoy the fireworks being shot-off outside alleviated some stress on the matter.
     So now I sit, finishing up this entry, looking back and seeing that it's all in the past and I cannot change it. I can only be present, now.

Know Your Audience Analysis Exercise

     As I read over the various question and answers, I understand that my audience values family for one thing. A number of posts state that if they could spend one day with any person real or fiction, many of them chose family members. Another question asking what the perfect day would be, once again revealed a number of answers involving a day with family in once scenario or another. Some of the other questions involved asking what television show or movie would represent your life or which character would represent you. To this question I noticed that there were plenty of answers, each different. However, I can say that there seems to be a popular majority of those who watch television or some sort of visual media. I can see that from the the question asking what color is your attitude, everyone generally feels positive about themselves and the way they experience life.

     Already I can build from these three alone, that my audience would favor reading something that pertains to family, holds a positive outlook towards the individual and even shows an interest in fictional dramas. I use the word drama loosely to represent fictional media, movies, television series, daytime dramas, etc.

     The age groups vary in range and there are a number of other slight differences between the individuals here and there, such as who would be a the most desired mentor, though some shared the same interests. This difference would not create a problem for my writing, as each individual chose someone the believe to be wise or of good influence.

     I believe that some of my writings in this area of study (outside of fictional writing and writing for a broad audience) would require a positive approach; though that could depend on the subject of the writings.

     I think what surprised me the most from these discussion board posts, was not entirely the responses of the audience, but the realization of how little television I watch these days. I was interested in each persons post about who would be their mentors, though I wasn't sure how to group that at first for use of writing. Reading over each persons super power desire was another interesting post. I think there is an amount of information that can be gleaned from a persons response to what they want their super power to be. Which now that I think of it could also be a factor in deciding how to write for the audience. Maybe not as a whole, but towards groups. I believe however, that I should stick to writing for the entire audience and not just niches here and there.

     What an interesting assignment.

Journal Entry for 27 June 2014

     Today I almost passed on a fitness routine, to which I later realized would become the downward spiral in the fall out of a discipline.

     Today began much like every other day, awaken from a dream and ponder it's interpretation, though the dream slipped my mind as soon as I got dressed for an early morning walk. Still to this moment I can only recall the appearance of one known man in my dream; which from previous interpretations holds an amount of importance in my interpretations. The usual walk down the path and back was a bit different this morning. The sun was not as hot yet and the wind had a gentle, steady wisp, which kept me cool. I took in the scent of nature and paid notice to the runners and dog walkers. Katie, the name of one stranger's pets, came up to me once again today as we passed. A beautiful dog, of which breed I am not familiar, I only know that age is showing for this one, and of course her name. Which I only know her name because the owner stated it in correction as she came over to me and "lurped" me (licked if you prefer). I am very welcoming to animals and was in no way offended only happy by this happy presence. This day started off refreshing and relaxing.... and continued that way. At least in the manner of relaxing.

     I continued the day sitting at my desk, reading, searching sites, wasting time on sites that humor me when stressed. It has been my routine to go walking, eat breakfast, wait a half hour and then work out. This morning did not go this way. Each hour that went by at my desk I reminded myself, "time to exercise". Yet the hour passed by. Soon it was past dinner time. That last meal about did me in, and then came the sneaky whisper.

"Surely, one rest day wouldn't be so bad?"

"Sure." I thought, many people workout in workout/rest cycles. Surely it wouldn't hurt to rest one day. Something in that moment clicked inside.

"This is the moment which I can choose to be productive and challenge this, or I can let the day slip by and possibly begin the downward motion of a discipline falling."

What a powerful moment!!! I recall now, mixing my workout shake, and preparing my weights wondering where my day had gone among all the books, sites, and matters which lack importance. I already struggle to discipline myself to follow through with all my other metaphysical exercises, was I about to give in here too? Post work out and back at my desk, ONCE AGAIN (sigh) I am very glad I pushed through that workout. Thank goodness for the endorphin release.

Personal Credo

     Choose to respond rather than react. This has been quite the lesson for me with which I found better results to follow. Time and time again choosing to respond intelligently has proven wiser than habitually reacting to a stimulus. When one chooses to respond rather than react, they choose to act in power over themselves and even over the situation. When reacting, one often does so all the while perceiving the stimulus or situation through the filter of their emotions or habits alone. One often reacts as well without giving the situation a moment to breath and think, assimilating what is occurring before them. Choosing to respond rather than reacting is not something that alone is done between persons, but all situations. It allows one to be far more productive with each moment.

     My mother told me from an early age, "When you are angry, take a moment to breath and count to ten before acting or saying anything." This was not assimilated right away, as it took years of experiencing situations and more lessons on the subject to understand and then "know" what she was saying was true. I've learned that I can use that same method for times when I am not only angry, but feeling other emotions as well, and even times when I believe that I am right on the subject being spoken about. Taking a moment to pause and reflect on what has been asked or said can be the defining factor for what one chooses to do next. To simply react requires very little time and very little perception of what is before you at all. It often takes more time for one to repair the damages of a reaction than it does for one to think about something before they do it.

Journal Entry for 26 June 2014

     I am coming to understand how the studies and exercises I am taking truly challenge my discipline each day. Between attending the School of Metaphysics each week and taking two college summer courses through out the week and keeping up with both the exercises and assignments of each, there has come much overlapping within my mind substance; also known as thoughts and thinking. Of course I've learned an important lesson about summer college courses and never again will I decide to take two at the same time. Each one is packed with understandings and lessons with multiple parts to each assignment. An assignment is not but one assignment but two or three. I check now to see if hair is falling out and gladly I can say it is not. A sigh of relief passes through my lips. I add to these assignments my dedication to my physical health as a discipline. A five day rotating split of focused attention to each muscle group revolving without a rest day followed by exercises for each metaphysical class I take as well. Maintaining a balance of physical, spiritual and intellectual studies, contributing to the whole self.
     I look over each lesson and list of assignments and ask, "Why does each list seem to crumble and layer itself over the next set of of words? Clearly I must be looking at this from the wrong perspective and making it all harder than it is." Though such thoughts do not assist me in leaving from my chair and desk any sooner. Outside of the written lesson and assignment sheets and the confusion that I wade through, I look at the whole scenario objectively. What am I learning about this challenge? Dedication. Discipline. There are moments when I feel overwhelmed with what is before me, but I refuse to throw in the towel. Remembering to breath and step away is a requirement for my studies, come back and then read it again. This is often where I tie my physical routine or my meditation in for a break and refresh.
     There is a realization that one may not meet the standards expected by others, but is this failure? No, having an experience and not learning anything, that is failure.Already I have learned much and the word failure is not permitted. I conclude this entry with a feeling of peace.

"This I Believe" Choose One and Freewrite Exercise

     I believe that I am more than my physical body. Such an interesting statement. I am more than my physical body. That was the statement I had heard once in the past by one known as Robert Monroe. While it's easy to choose to be a believer, as one can believe anything said by another or written by another, if he or she so chooses. It is another to be a "knower" of something. I know that the term knower is not grammatically correct, but it has become a title to me. One that is achieved and not handed to you by another or granted to put before your name simply because you attended a course. Most of those titles are still given to those who believe. I believed and still do believe a number of things even though I do not know them. However back to I am more than my physical body. I began in the past to wonder where do I begin and end on the subject who am I and what is this I that I am referring to? Am I my thoughts I would wonder? Am I my emotions or am I this body at that? I say I and refer to this body and I if I inhabit it. Do I inhabit it thought? Or is it possible that it is much like an avatar in some game much like a child would play a video game and control that character on a little screen? Hard to say on that note. I looked at dreaming for example. What are those and how are they made? I tried to do research and follow the thought of scientist, and I'm still not sure that I understood that they understood either. I experienced dreams where I became aware that I was dreaming though I didn't wake up. I took control of my dream state and moved around as I pleased. But how? I wasn't certain. To further this I had an experience I wasn't sure I could explain. I laid down after a long day at a house with a group of friends. It had been a long, exhausting day, and I felt it in my body as I drifted quickly into a sleep state on the couch of the living room. The lights were still on and a friend of mine sat typing at his computer in the living room while others answered phone calls and interpretting dreams. I became aware either before sleeping on in that state of sleep that I was awake. Or was I? For I was not staring at the room from the couch but rather I stared at my own physical body from a few feet from where I slept. It made little physical sense, as the object that was placed here was a coffee table. I could perceive myself clearly in the light of the room. I thought to myself how I shouldn't have fallen asleep with a red blanket pulled around my head. I appeared as a red bearded, red-riding hood, passed out holding a pillow. Quite a strange experience but it was one that lead me to know that I was more than physical...it seems that my 10 minute timer is going off.

The word count above is 545 words.

"This I Believe" 10 Minute Writing Exercise

1. I believe that I am more than my physical body.
2. I believe that my conscious reality is based mainly around my perception.
3. I believe that I can choose to respond rather than react.
4. I believe that there are many colors that are beyond the spectrum of my perception.
5. I believe that many things I believe are based on my upbringing, schools, propaganda, and I have yet seen through the subject clearly with unbiased attention.
6. I believe that our country has given away liberty in a trade for security and that was a fatal error.
7. I believe that each person interprets a situation differently based on what they perceived and how they recall the events.
8. I believe it will soon be time for me to cut the grass again at the S.O.M. school as I know the time to cut my grass is again coming nigh.
9. I believe that my dreams hold a very important message about my level of waking consciousness as do the dreams of others reflect the same for them.
10. I believe I have had several good ideas for books from my dreams alone.
11. I believe I enjoy dreaming though it is unproductive to maintain a sleep state.
12. I believe there are many ways to exercise.
13. I believe that a persons figure does not equal beauty.
14. I believe beauty resonates from the inside.
15. I believe that physical beauty can still be attractive, it just depends on the viewer.
16. I believe that I enjoy the taste of tea.
17. I believe that too much sweetener in my tea can ruin the flavor for it.
18. I believe I enjoy cooking and am a decent cook in my own niche of recipes.
19. I believe I dislike cooking for those who are picky eaters.
20. I believe human beings should have more say over their ow n health.
21. I believe that the lines between corporations and government are too blurry and  undefined for my liking.
22. I believe society does not want people to become wise.
23. I believe that I would rather die free than be a slave, though I have no problem freely on my own accord being of service to another.

The word account above is 381 words.

Learning about myself as a student and writer via reasoning and the Jung typology test.

     I have always been interested in personality types and tests. Be it in the form of astrological signs of the zodiac, strength finder tests, the Jung typology test, and the numerous others that I have taken in the past. Some of the fun and games, the others more serious with several studies to back them. I have also taken an interest to writing, though more prominently along the lines of fiction. With this knowledge one could imagine the amount of my interest that was perked when I received a Composition 1 course assignment to compare and contrast the Jung typology test results in relation to my writing and my possible experiences as a student. So let us take the path through my thoughts on this adventure.

     I had taken this test about three weeks ago, interestingly enough as a suggestion from a friend. I took the test and came upon the results as an ENFP. I didn't give a whole lot of thought about what it meant at the moment as I happen to be pressed for time. My friend however showed interest and I took his response quite favorable. I figured I'd look into it further later. Fast forward to the present, I sat before my laptop with the website open and ready to take the personality test once again. I was curious how consistent my results would be. It felt as if I hadn't seen any of these questions before and I questioned if the pool of questions were randomized. To my surprise and satisfaction I was consistent in my results as being listed as an ENFP. "But what does that mean?", I wondered. I read over the page of information concerning the ENFP type and shook my head here and nodded my head there as I scrolled down the page. Then I began to piece together, how does this compare to writing and being a student, in terms of my experiences. Allow me to continue.

     I decided it best to break the information down into what I could reason as Pros and Cons in light of being a writer and being a student. First the pros as today I feel like going with the good news first! There is a lot of information that I found pleasing to read, but not all of it out right pertained to writing. In terms of writing, ENFP personality types are great at brainstorming and also natural role-players. Is this true for everyone? I don't know, but I do know that they hold true for me. When I begin to write I can come up with many ideas and imaginings that I would like to transfer into text. Often to further these ideas I mentally role-play the idea or scene out in my head and then write down what took place on the screen behind my eyelids. Both of these points also work well in a student setting, even better if I was to work in a group setting. Brainstorming as a team and a bit of role-play or even devil's advocate in a debatable essay can stir up new thoughts or further current ones. ENFP types tend to be very friendly being both idea-people and people-people, I can see how this would be very beneficial in a classroom or student experience.

     While there are a number of other possible Pros I think we should take a look at some of the perceived Cons for balance. In a classroom or student setting and even as a writer, the ENFP personality type does have some perceived downsides. ENFPs can be easily distracted, especially if one is being kept busy with small uninteresting tasks. I am aware that parts of a number of assignments I have had in the past are those small uninteresting bits that I'd rather not do and also as the personality type suggests, I tend to procrastinate in these areas or mentally work it out through my day until I can sit down and just plow through it. Also one tends to make hasty decisions based on how they are feeling and these can lead to unpredictable results. I am a bit undecided how I feel about this aspect or rather I am split. I can account times in the past I have been hasty in my decision making and also times when I left the situation undecided, letting others decide it for me. Possibly that was my decision to be indecisive, but I digress. Something I found that could be an issue or in conflict with meeting the standards is that ENFPs have a tendency believe that close enough is good enough. Some may have a high standard in contrast with an ENFP and I can see where one or the other would have to step out of their comfort zones to be agreeable on the subject. In the case of the class, one would be wise to assume that it is the student who should. Due to being easily distracted and becoming bored of small uninteresting tasks, it can be difficult for one of the ENFP type to follow through with what they begin. This is an issue for both writing and being a student.

     While I have pointed out the Pros and Cons of what I've learned from this experience, I have dusted off understandings of what of my personality will benefit me and what of it will need to be pushed through and overcame. What an experience!