Journal Entry for 26 June 2014

     I am coming to understand how the studies and exercises I am taking truly challenge my discipline each day. Between attending the School of Metaphysics each week and taking two college summer courses through out the week and keeping up with both the exercises and assignments of each, there has come much overlapping within my mind substance; also known as thoughts and thinking. Of course I've learned an important lesson about summer college courses and never again will I decide to take two at the same time. Each one is packed with understandings and lessons with multiple parts to each assignment. An assignment is not but one assignment but two or three. I check now to see if hair is falling out and gladly I can say it is not. A sigh of relief passes through my lips. I add to these assignments my dedication to my physical health as a discipline. A five day rotating split of focused attention to each muscle group revolving without a rest day followed by exercises for each metaphysical class I take as well. Maintaining a balance of physical, spiritual and intellectual studies, contributing to the whole self.
     I look over each lesson and list of assignments and ask, "Why does each list seem to crumble and layer itself over the next set of of words? Clearly I must be looking at this from the wrong perspective and making it all harder than it is." Though such thoughts do not assist me in leaving from my chair and desk any sooner. Outside of the written lesson and assignment sheets and the confusion that I wade through, I look at the whole scenario objectively. What am I learning about this challenge? Dedication. Discipline. There are moments when I feel overwhelmed with what is before me, but I refuse to throw in the towel. Remembering to breath and step away is a requirement for my studies, come back and then read it again. This is often where I tie my physical routine or my meditation in for a break and refresh.
     There is a realization that one may not meet the standards expected by others, but is this failure? No, having an experience and not learning anything, that is failure.Already I have learned much and the word failure is not permitted. I conclude this entry with a feeling of peace.